Women Who ‘Wear The Pants In The Family’
I know right from the start that this is going to be a very controversial article, but in order to understand our modern relationship dynamics it must be looked at.
Before I say too much I want to once again acknowledge that strong independent women have added a lot of value and have indeed become a strong fiber of our nation and who we are as a people.
This empowerment however truly is a double-edged sword. When it comes down to a long-term relationship or marriage, a woman who has her own independence essentially becomes a dueling force with her husband. She is not as 'simple' as her female counterparts in most of the world.
All of a sudden it is the man who is supposed to be in line with his wife and often just has to cater to all of her demands and needs (in extreme cases) as he feels his power slipping. It is not really an independent woman's fault necessarily for how she became who she is, it is just the reality that we in America (who are married to each other) have to deal with it. But she is who she is.
It is the natural and biological role for the man to be the head of the house (sorry feminists), however some interesting things have happened in the past three decades. Women today have more freedom and opportunity than ever before in history in our country here and now. This has created tremendous value, contribution and excitement as well to our culture.
Because of a woman's now inherent character and behavior, any man who chooses to be in any relationship with her for a longer-term, is going to have to put up with a lot more drama than really is natural (or prevalent in most of history before). This is the dilemma of millions of American men today. They are essentially being oppressed.
A woman is sometimes so strong in her own character and independence, that she will easily lead the family instead of the man. I know of several families specifically that are like this personally and I see the men bow their heads in low self-esteem. There really is a role reversal and is not natural; but as long as one person really is the head of the house then at least there is some semblance of balance.
Most American (marriage) relationships are '50/50' (or near there) where there is a power struggle (battle of the sexes) and it's going to take a lot of give and take and communication to make it work. Most often a man really can not just be his 100% self without fostering resentment or nagging on his wifes part.
This is not just a hard-core traditionalist approach, rather I want to teach you from the universal perspective of objectiveness. I'm not saying definitely whether it is right or wrong that a woman can wear the pants in the family, but I want you to the side for yourself what kind of man you are and what you want to put up with in the future. My father has been divorced several times because of these issues and cost in 100,000's of dollars.
If you end up or choose to be with one of these strong independent women, you are going to have a lot more oppression in your life than you realize, I can guarantee it. It is not in a man's inherent nature and being to be held back and repressed from his role as head of the household and provider or to be challenged in it. Look at the way our media portrays men on t.v. in sitcoms.
So many families today, the woman is the one in control and the man is just feeling more and more like the screen door hit him on the way out to take the trash. The fact that our media portrays this, as men being incompetent buffoons, truly cements this role reversal. And it is quite pathetic I think.
If you are married, I do not want to give you advice but you are responsible for the decisions you make and hopefully you can still communicate a lot and make things work. However many married men are finding they are in way too deep into a situation that really does not feel natural to them.
My words of advice (if you will) are that, it is NOT natural. So you can breathe a little sigh of relief there. However we still have to live with these women, if we have already chosen that path.
You could say that this is a pessimistic view, but someone needs to bring it up because there is a reason we have a 50% divorce rate second to none in the world and that no one is talking about the real reason why.
Entire lives and families are destroyed founded upon a woman's empowerment and independence (sure just put me on Oprah right now); but let me repeat again that independent women, although they have a lot of drama have added a lot of value (unparalleled value) to our society and the world.
Relationships today have become part of this 50-50 relationship dynamic in which both the man and woman try to balance things out. Now a woman has more demands and expectations than ever before in history, this makes it harder for a man and to just do his part of being head of the household when she is always on his tail about something.
So if you are still a single man, I strongly encourage you to think about the consequences of being with one of these women and a long-term relationship. Though I bet this is going to piss a lot of women off but you know what? For your sake and the sake of American men it needs to be said. I'd come close to even calling it 'the truth'.
You should have the full right to determine and choose your life path without having to give in to a woman's demands which are based on unnatural foundations.
I think American men have the right to come home and not hear about not stop nagging about small little details of inconsequential things. No matter what these women will say to counteract what I am saying, that just proves that they really are coming from their own independence and perception of the world as they know it. Traditional women would probably agree with me.
Little do they realize or even respect the fact that most of the women in the world, (although not as developed psychologically or motivationally), would be happy just to be their natural role of a mother while the man takes care of providing for the family.
'Independent' women cannot imagine that these traditional women would let men get away with some of the things they do; the sad reality is that American men are letting women get away with some of the things they do (which is unnaturally founded).
It is not the natural role for a woman to wear the pants in the family. So decide for yourself where you stand on this issue, and think about the consequences of being in a long-term relationship with a very independent woman.
I do not want you to become just another statistic; but be accountable for your actions. It is about time that American men understand what is going on, and take back their power. Maybe at this point women will really respect men for finally standing up as they keep saying 'where are all the real men'. The solution for American women? Well...they'll be maybe interested again in the traditional 'nice guy'.
This article was posted on October 13, 2005